I’m not going to do days fifteen and sixteen, because i have nothing to say about those two subjects.

Anywho…

Dear Diana,

I can’t believe we grew up together, and now we walk by the halls and act like we never knew eachother. I was so excited that i’d finally be able to ride the bus with you in junior high, and then you moved away. I know you only moved a few minutes away, but we stopped talking anyway. Everyday consisted of you coming over to my house or me going over to yours. We were neighbors; best friends. I’d force you to change the channel everytime i walked over to your house and you were watching cartoons. Sorry for being bossy. Sorry for being so different from you. I guess you don’t really notice the differences in people when you’re young. You were the girl i’d sing stupid songs with hairbrushes as microphones. You were the girl i’d play barbies with for hours at a time. There’s so many little things i’ll never forget, like when you had blood running down your leg and i pointed it out, so you ran home crying. You were so queezy. And when my mom mixed up a bunch of different soups and called it “surprise soup,” so you went and told your mom you wanted surprise soup for lunch. She was so confused. I remember saying hi to you the first day i saw you in high school, but i guess you’re just not interested anymore. I have you on myspace, and i see what an amazing girl you’ve turned into. The day we talk again, you’re making chocolate covered bananas with me. Just like when we were small. Wherever life takes me, i promise those memories will tag along.

Celina

I don’t think anyone has held a grudge against me really. I’m not saying i’m a saint and can do no wrong, but i’ve been lucky enough to surround myself with people who are willing to forgive my mistakes. I have screwed up, but i do learn, and i think people have given me second chances. I’m glad that i have friends who are okay with my flaws.

Dear Quincy,

I know you’re not a person, but you were my partner for over six years. You were the weirdest and craziest puppy i had ever seen, but i got used to you. The night you passed away was the night i cried the hardest in my life. You deserved so much more than i gave you. Everytime i got home from school, you would run and meet me halfway down the street and tackle me. I shushed you away and threw you off all the time. I sometimes would forget to feed you and i rarely spent more than a few mintues a day outside with you. I don’t know why. I do know that i loved you more than i love alot of actual people. I’m sure some people think i’m crazy for having so much care for a dog, but you were so full of energy. You always sat next to me when i was sad. I swear you were the biggest trooper in the world. I remember when i sat outside with you crying in the blazing sun for an hour, because they ran over your foot. You were up and running the next day. I remember when i walked outside and saw all the blood and burst out in tears shaking and shivering. I miss you so much. I feel guilty that some idiots ran over you on Halloween night when i was right in my truck. I could’ve stopped it. I should’ve seen it coming. You hated being tied up and being out in the fence all day. You’d always find a way to escape. You were so free. The only comfort i have is knowing that you passed away doing what you loved. Roaming the streets, chasing after cars, and proving that you were baddest dog on the block. I’ll never forget you, and i hope you knew how much i loved you. I hope you knew i tried my hardest. I’ll always remember throwing chicken nuggets out the window for you, cause i didn’t wanna open the door and wake my parents. Agh, i break down everytime i think of you. My feelings get all jumbled up and i don’t even know what to say to explain what i feel. I know you’re in doggy heaven enjoying endless amounts of chicken and bacon and whipped cream and everything you liked, which was pretty much anything, some of which wasn’t even edible, haha. I love you, Quincy. Please look over me and help me feel less alone.

Love always and forever, Celi

Dear Soulmate,

I need you now more than ever. I need you to listen to my problems and hear me ramble on about fat cats and fruit salad. I already crave your attention and goodnight texts. I need someone to argue with. Just look for me please, because i can’t seem to find you anywhere.

Love, Your other half

Dear Mike,

You had me at hello. I might’ve not shown it at first, but you were always special in a way. Our whole story is just <3333, and i will never get over us. You asked me to be yours the day we met, and you wouldn’t stop following me around school for days. You weren’t at all what i ever looked for, but i couldn’t help myself. I guess there was something very attractive about the way you busted out your yugio cards everyday after lunch, haha. There’s so much i’d like to say to you, but there’s just never a right time. You were all mine twice, and you never got to know how i truly felt for you. I was such a horrible girlfriend, but i can’t say you were much of a good boyfriend either. I’m not sorry for any of the things i did, but i am sorry for all the things i failed to do. I’m sorry for turning away when you’d try to kiss me, for never answering your calls, for never seeing you when you missed me. I’m sorry for telling you i had no feelings for you, eventhough you were my boyfriend. I made you feel so insecure. For years, i was so confused over why i obsessed about you so much, why i couldn’t get you out of my head, and why i couldn’t picture myself being with anyone but you. I know it’s been almost a year since we broke up, but i think i finally realized what was wrong. I never could get over the fact that you had been with so many girls and that i could never change that. Everytime i was with you, i felt like i would never be enough for you. I couldn’t give you anything even close to what those girls gave you, and i guess that always killed me inside. When i was kissing you, were you thinking of someone else? Before you fell asleep at night, were you reliving the memories of having sex in the shower with a girl that wasn’t me? Your past was in my mind all the time, and i always knew i’d never get over it. I was waiting for so long for you to turn into the guy i knew you could be. I had so much faith in you. Everytime you’d hurt me, it just pushed me farther and farther away, and i couldn’t give myself to you until i knew you would be fair to me. Unfortunately, it never happened. I was so afraid to make you my everything. Somehow, my twisted mind thought keeping you away and not showing you affection was the way to mask it all. I thought that by not kissing you, not hugging you, not saying cute things, that you’d never be able compare me to the others, because i wasn’t giving you anything whatsoever. I wish things would have been different. I wish i would have truly been your “only one.” I wish you wouldn’t have been such a jerk to me. All i wanted was to be yours, but you were everyone else’s. Thank you for all the tears i’ve shed for you. Thank you for telling me i was your only girl one day, and then fucking another girl the next. Thank you for obsessing over your ex when you were with me, and for going out with her a week after we broke up. I’ve made so many excuses for you. I’ve done nothing but defend you, but honestly, you’ve been nothing but heartless. Michael, i know how much you care for me. I know how much you wanted me, but you never showed it. You told me so many times that you loved me and that i’d always be the only one, but Michael, when you truly love someone, you don’t even look at anyone else. Look at me Mike; open your eyes. For three years, i’ve been crazy for you. I’ve been unable to even talk to any boy for five minutes without getting bored of them. You’ve gone from girl to girl to girl, and still, you’ve been MY only boyfriend. My only kiss. My only guy i’d do anything for. You’re immature, and you don’t know what loving someone really is. I want nothing more than to be with you, to be all yours, but we both know you’re over it. We both know it’ll never happen. You’ve hurt me more than anyone, yet somehow i still find myself picturing us getting back together. I picture myself reminding you that i gave you a chance twice, and that now it’s my turn. It’s my turn; i want a chance. I’m torn between hating you and letting my pride get the best of me, or adoring you and forgetting everything that’s happened and asking you to return to me, knowing you’ll do it in a heartbeat. I wish i wouldn’t have been so jealous of everything you’d had. I wish i wouldn’t have kept my guard up so high. Maybe things would have turned out as i always planned they would. Maybe i’d be in her shoes right now. Well, i hope you’re happy with your newest gf, and good luck to the one who will come after her. I love you unconditionally. I’ll adore you always. And yes, a part of me will always hate you as well. “I might never get a shot at being with you, but at least i can always be there for you in my never ending quest to see yet another beautiful smile on your face.” Right back at you Mike.